Free PDF Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane), by Gavin de Becker

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Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane), by Gavin de Becker

Free PDF Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane), by Gavin de Becker

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Review

"Gavin de Becker has done it again—this time for kids. Protecting the Gift provides practical solutions for keeping youngsters safe....A brilliant lesson in prevention."—Ken Wooden, leading child advocate, author of Child Lures"A must for all parents raising children in an increasingly violent society."—FBI behavioral scientist Robert Ressler"Everyone in contact with children should read this important book. It can help save lives."—Publishers Weekly, starred review"Dynamic, inspiring and practical... and an entertaining and gripping read. This is a must read for every parent or anyone who cares for kids."—Ellen Snortland, author of Beauty Bites Beast: Awakening the Warrior Within Women and Girls

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From the Inside Flap

Safety skills for children outside the home Warning signs of sexual abuse How to screen baby-sitters and choose schools Strategies for keeping teenagers safe from violence All parents face the same challenges when it comes to their children's safety: whom to trust, whom to distrust, what to believe, what to doubt, what to fear, and what not to fear. In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior and author of the monumental bestseller The Gift of Fear, offers practical new steps to enhance children's safety at every age level, giving you the tools you need to allow your kids freedom without losing sleep yourself. With daring and compassion, he shatters the widely held myths about danger and safety and helps parents find some certainty about life's highest-stakes questions: How can I know a baby-sitter won't turn out to be someone who harms my child? (see page 103) What should I ask child-care professionals when I interview them? (see page 137) What's the best way to prepare my child for walking to school alone? (see page 91) How can my child be safer at school? (see page 175) How can I spot sexual predators? (see page 148) What should I do if my child is lost in public? (see page 86) How can I teach my child about risk without causing too much fear? (see page 98) What must my teenage daughter know in order to be safe? (see page 191) What must my teenage son know in order to be safe? (see page 218) And finally, in the face of all these questions, how can I reduce the worrying? (see page 56)

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Product details

Paperback: 352 pages

Publisher: Dell; Reprint edition (May 9, 2000)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 9780440509004

ISBN-13: 978-0440509004

ASIN: 0440509009

Product Dimensions:

6.1 x 0.9 x 9.2 inches

Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.7 out of 5 stars

250 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#11,394 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

It took some time for me to warm up to this book, mostly because I started out very familiar with the author’s themes about fear and listening to your intuition. But once I got through the first few chapters of short vignettes, we really got to the meat. That is, really concrete, useable tips of how to keep your kids safe.There were great points I had not considered before like 1) why “don’t talk to strangers” is a super-unhelpful piece of advice or 2) what to tell your kids about their own bodily autonomy or their ability to withdraw consent.Some of the drawbacks are that the book may slightly overstate our ability to prevent being victimized and also the risk we face. But in fairness, that is the topic of the book, so it’s forgivable.Overall, I strongly recommend this, if for nothing else than to help spur your thinking as a parent about the topics you’re going to need to eventually broach and how to broach them.

Mr de Becker writes about violence and personal safety. The short explanation is he had a violent childhood and instead of growing up and becoming violent, he grew up and runs a bodyguard/ safety consultation company.A lot of what he has to say, be more aware of your surroundings and trust your gut, feels like common sense to me, however, although it is common sense, I do not practice it 100% of the time. The reason I don't practice it 100% of the time, and the reason it is not "common" sense to a lot of people is that a lot of us have been brought up in the modern world to be "nice", to be polite, to want to be liked, and, perhaps most centrally, to entrust our safety to professionals (police), and trust all the polite people around us. While that does work a lot of the time, our intuition, and just general awareness is something that has evolved over the millenia to keep us safe, our bodies as well have evolved over the millenia to fight and protect.In a nutshell, de Becker writes to encourage us to use our brains/ intuition to take care of ourselves more, and to not be afraid to use our bodies for violence when it is the last resort. It is very interesting and encouraging to read about how to do that.A lot of what he wrote is a more detailed version of certain parts of his other book, the Gift of Fear, which I highly recommend. A lot has been added that concerns children in particular, so I would recommend this for anyone who has or deals with children, but perhaps recommend the Gift of Fear first, and especially for those without children.Sprinkled throughout Protecting the Gift (and the Gift of Fear) are short anecdotes of people who were attacked or abused and how the situation ended up. Some end up well, some in failure. My favorite was the mother who fought off a dangerous attacker ONE-HANDED while holding her baby in her other hand.

I was talking to another mom, explaining the difficulty I was having in teaching my outgoing young daughter to be cautious of strangers without making her afraid. I was also in the middle of looking for new daycare for both my daughters. This mom recommended this book and I am so grateful she did! It has helped me start new conversations with my daughter and also made me reevaluate my daycare choice. I realized I had been trying to convince myself that the choice we made would be ok, which of course meant that I didn't truly believe it. I immediately started looking at other options and found new places for both my girls that I feel so much better about. The day after I settled on the new daycares, I heard from a coworker that had recently pulled their child out of our initial choice, and the heartbreaking reasons why they pulled him out. I am normally pretty good about listening to my intuition, and it had been screaming at me, but I had been stupidly trying to ignore it. I am grateful this book was able to make realize I was ignoring my intuition before I put my children in a bad situation. I also feel more confident talking to my daughter about strangers. She already has good intuition. It is my job to maintain a safe environment while she practices listening to that intuition. Gavin De Becker, thank you for being willing to face such a difficult subject so that we may all be the better for it.

De Becker writes that fear is a gift: it's that intuitive voice--gut feeling, hunch--that helps us recognize a potential threat and stay safe. As with most things in life, you want a balance: too little fear, and we miss out on warning signals that can keep us safe; too much fear, and we'll never know what is really a threat and what isn't.De Becker's book achieves this balance masterfully. He doesn't shy away from painful and fear-inducing topics, but they are tempered with real world statistics that shed light on when our fears have a basis in fact, and when they don't. (Kidnapping by a stranger, for example, isn't nearly the threat you may think it is based on what you see in the media.) He helps us look at the hard truths, and then gives us expert guidance on dealing with those realities. The advice given here is practical and easy to implement, whether you're looking for a baby sitter, wondering if those security guards at your kid's school really make your kid safer, or don't know how to really determine if your child is ready to be left home alone. This book can also help you begin an age-appropriate dialogue with your child, a dialogue that can and should mature as your child does.I'm writing this review as I'm finishing this book for the second time. A few years have passed since my first read, and as my daughter has gotten older, I'm taking away different things from this book. I'm less interested in choosing a babysitter, for example, and more interested in preparing my daughter to be out in the world on her own. Whatever age your child is, from toddler to young adult, there is information here that will benefit you and your family.I think this book should be required reading for all parents and grandparents, and that it should be re-read on a regular basis. The information in this book is that important.

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